Lingerie and Laboutins Won't Make the Cut

I'm often asked, "what do you want out of life?"

So quick to respond I always say, "To be successful,"  but when someone asked me to define my idea of success the other day I found my self speechless.  Obviously success is being the best in whatever you pursue and we are all constantly competing for top spot, but I'm beginning to rethink the whole meaning of it.

Whenever somebody would tell me, "Money can't buy happiness,"  I'd laugh and say, "Maybe so, but I can't be happy without money."  Up until a couple of weeks ago I guess my idea of success was misconstrued with my idea of happiness.  I wanted to become insanely wealthy, drive my dream car and live in my Barbie dream house while I could bake cupcakes for my NFL player husband in lingerie and Laboutins...kidding!  Well, kind of.  My point is that I never really knew what I wanted out of my life and it's important to remember that we don't always get what we want, we'll end up exactly where we are meant to be.

Of course all of us should pursue our dreams, set goals and be the best at whatever we do, but instead of working toward six figures a year consider finding peace of mind within yourself and meaning within your relationships.

What is success to me?  Being at the top.  Not by somebody lifting me up, but by climbing there myself.  And where is the top you ask?  I'll let you know when I get there. 

I am going to be an author.  My books will be New York Times best sellers (watch out Chelsea Handler).  All of my relationships will be meaningful and I won't take any day for granted.  I'll appreciate all that I obtain from hard work.  Most importantly, I'll have peace of mind; not from the money that I make or the car that I drive, but from achieving my personal definition of success.
 
What's yours?

Forget Where You Came From

They say learning from our mistakes, taking the bad with the good and finding where you belong in this world is all a part of growing up.  Thinking about the painful words and experiences that I have endured thus far in my life, I feel like I just had some sort of an epiphany.  I'm going to end up exactly where I am supposed to and it has nothing to do with where I came from.

Years may go by and we may become older however a majority of the people around us will never learn from their mistakes, never accept the bad for what it is and most importantly will never understand where they belong in this big world.  What does it mean to truly be comfortable in your own skin?  One of the most difficult yet most rewarding journeys any of us could take will be finding who we truly are and where we are meant to be.

A conversation with someone I met for the first time today doesn't have me feeling like I've "known him forever," but more like I know how he's felt forever.  Recognizing how you change as a person is so enlightening.

In high school I was so superficial; always worried what others thought of me.  There finally came a point in time where I realized that no matter how hard I tried to please everybody and be who they wanted me to be, they'd still think what they wanted. 

I'd be an extremely wealthy woman if I had a dollar for every time my name was written on the walls and stalls of the women's bathroom at Otter Valley Union High School; and if you couldn't guess it was never about how pretty I was or my witty sense of humor.  The ironic part is that after using all that energy to try to bring me down I live an amazing life in beautiful south Florida, and in a couple years those people will probably be doing nothing but scrubbing those very words off in their janitorial positions.

But back to the intriguing individual I met tonight.  He said, "I could walk the red carpet at the hottest clubs in New York City, Los Angeles or Miami and be treated like royalty, but when I go to a local bar in my hometown I get treated like shit." 

It's like my conscience jumped out of my mind and into this person so they could say what I have been thinking for so long.  People say "don't forget where you came from," but why wouldn't we want to?  I know that the opinions of others used to shape what I thought I needed to be, but really they only pushed me away to find out who I truly was. 

I know who I am and who I never want to become, but most importantly I know this is where I am meant to be and I owe none of it to "remembering where I came from."

Don't Spit Them Out, Swallow It!

The one thing I can rarely set aside is my pride. 

We all know admitting we are wrong is a difficult thing to do, but people seem to have more respect for us when we can.  Today I swallowed my pride to salvage a friendship.  Saying the three simple words, "you were right," took me far too long to get out of my mouth...but I'm so relieved I finally could. 

When we get into an argument with someone we never want to be the first to give in.  This past year I have learned that I would much rather swallow my pride, than have someone that I need in my life disappear from it.  Good friends are like money trees- extremely hard to come by.

I give the other person more credit than I can give myself.  The only thing harder to do than swallowing your own pride is to forgive someone.  Not just saying, "I forgive you," only to throw the argument back in their face months down the road- but truly letting it go.  Someone who honestly cares about you can always forgive for your mistakes and that's going to be the biggest test to any friendship.

I'm at a point in my life where I am recognizing the true colors of people a lot quicker than I used to; not only does this save me the time, but it's helping build my happiness that I get out of my relationships with others.

There are people that I may seem to be "close" with today and the next, but I know in my heart that they will have no part of my life in a year.  This is just because people move on. 

I appreciate every person from my past, can't wait to meet the rest in my future, and know the intentions of those in my life today.  It may take arguments, experiences, and a little pressure to test each friendship; but don't throw things out the window at the first negative.  That person could become any important staple to your future.

Your best friend today could be your most hated tomorrow and that's just a part of life.  So cherish someone when you can ultimately know and believe that they have honest intentions. 

It took me months without speaking to a person thinking that they were completely out of my life for me to realize that I wasn't going to let them disappear without saying what I needed to say.  Even if you think they don't want to hear it- take your chances.  I have my friend back and I owe it to swallowing my pride.