Two Species: Bitter or Simply Stupid

I don't understand why when we were growing up our moms always said, "Don't talk to strangers."  My conversations with strangers are like a breath of fresh air; usually insightful and surprisingly I can make their stories relate to my life like a horoscope.  I wake up late today with plenty on my mind and after a hot shower I find myself sitting at the bar at Villagio with a glass of wine next to an older and interesting guy, Ray.

After some small talk, he starts venting to me about his lady problems...awkward.  I listen as my wine glass begins to empty at a faster pace, but I had a feeling this conversation would have a point.  Sure as daylight- it did.

All day I have these thoughts going through my mind.  Relationships are lose-lose situations and those of you who are in love right now may beg to differ with me, but call me in a couple years and let me know where you're at.  I can't help but think to myself, what is the point of it all?  All good things must come to an end, unfortunately.  Why set yourself up for heartbreak?  But in the other perspective, why keep a wall and never set yourself up for love?

Anyways, back to Ray.  While I'm semi-listening, semi-ignoring, and drinking my wine he says one sentence that woke me up.  "And then I broke the most important rule."   I set my glass down and say, "Enlighten me.  What rule did you break?"  As he shakes his head he looks up and tells me, "I fell in love with her."

Falling in love may give you a rush when it happens, but so does shooting heroin.  Some things just aren't for everybody. 

I guess I'm more of a realist than a romantic.  Some women look forward to getting chocolates and flowers on Valentine's Day, and others would rather watch Jerry McGuire alone in bed while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream.  Love is over rated.  Maybe bitter women are the way they are because they just don't have what those hopeless romantics do, a bitch.  Or maybe the hopeless romantics dream in the clouds because they don't have what the bitter women do, guts.

By all means don't fight a good thing; but is the time you spend with that somebody worth taking the risk of having it all end one day?  Only to leave you with that unbearable pain that yes, may slowly disappear as time goes on, but the smallest bit remains to linger on inside of you forever.  Should we just spare ourselves?  Or is it even worse to put up your wall and never take the risk, saving yourself from the heartbreak?  All in all, at this point in time I'd say love is for suckers.

The Power of a Woman

Every female is an actress; we convince others that we are happy when we want to cry, make a boy believe we are in love with them when we aren’t, and nine times out of ten when you lie to us we already know the truth. 

Men always accuse us of “playing head games” and we deny it.  In all honesty we should just own up to it because not only do we play games, we master them.  Remember the commercials with the catchy song?  “Anything you can do, I can do better!  I can do anything better than you!”  Let me give you an example just to prove my point.

My best friend was dating a guy at home in New Jersey and after a break up he recently moved to Boca Raton.  Naturally, as any loyal girlfriend would, I agreed to keep tabs on this fellow.  Putting the master plan into action began with my roommate adding him on Facebook and starting some small talk.  He asks her for her number (wrong move) and she gives him mine.  So this guy thinks he is texting my roommate these past few weeks when all along he is texting me, his ex’s best friend…what a sucker.  This is what I call a controlled situation.

This entire time the boy thinks he is high and mighty “playing” his game; texting my roommate trying to set up dates and turning around calling his ex in New Jersey saying how he misses her.  How stupid does he look when she knows everything he has been texting her friend?

The power of Facebook allowed us to unleash our plan at the perfect moment so we could maximize his embarrassment.  I laid it all out on the line for him on my best friend’s page, explaining how he had really been texting me under the impression he was texting Sara.  Busted.  You see boys, you think you know what we are up to but we are always two steps ahead.  My words of advice for the opposite sex: never underestimate the power of a woman.

Catch Them If You Can

I always say if you don't have high expectations for somebody than they can never disappoint you, but something as genuine as keeping your word seems to be so difficult for some.  Breaking a promise leads to my disappointment.  Who would have ever thought that the simple words that come out of a person's mouth, could have such an effect on the simple thoughts that linger in my mind?

We have all lied before; whether it be a tiny little fib to get us out of trouble at that very moment which will soon be forgotten, or a disturbing lie to cover our own mistakes which will haunt us later on.  Most days I just want to meet the man who invented lying so I can kick him between his legs with my Steve Madden heels, but all the other days I feel like I could just call him because I'm certain his number is in my cell phone. 

Some people may eat up your lies because ignorance is bliss; they would truly just rather not know the reality of a situation.  I pity anyone who adopts that mindset.  You're simply scarred from all those times when you got your feelings hurt and somebody raises their eyebrows at you before they say, "Well, the truth hurts."  So now you think that what you won't know won't harm you and you accept the filthy, false words that roll off of a liar's lips.  Listen- you were an idiot then, and you're more of an idiot now. 

I'd rather be upset by some honest words that I don't like hearing than be ignorant and made a fool of.  When toilet paper is stuck on your shoe and you walk around with a huge oblivious grin on your face, wouldn't you rather have someone tell you than let you continue on looking like a fool?  If your boyfriend or girlfriend were cheating on you and everyone including their mother and mailman knew about it, wouldn't you want to be informed?  For those of you who serve the lies, good luck.  And for those of you who believe the lies, you're a lost cause.  

What's most imporant?  Knowing the truth or walking around with a smile that is built from everything but that?  Some may say ignorance is bliss, but lately I beg to differ.  If you must lie, think about what will happen once you're caught.  A simple thing we share everyday-words, have no meaning most of the time because talk is cheap and the suckers will never catch the liars.

Lingerie and Laboutins Won't Make the Cut

I'm often asked, "what do you want out of life?"

So quick to respond I always say, "To be successful,"  but when someone asked me to define my idea of success the other day I found my self speechless.  Obviously success is being the best in whatever you pursue and we are all constantly competing for top spot, but I'm beginning to rethink the whole meaning of it.

Whenever somebody would tell me, "Money can't buy happiness,"  I'd laugh and say, "Maybe so, but I can't be happy without money."  Up until a couple of weeks ago I guess my idea of success was misconstrued with my idea of happiness.  I wanted to become insanely wealthy, drive my dream car and live in my Barbie dream house while I could bake cupcakes for my NFL player husband in lingerie and Laboutins...kidding!  Well, kind of.  My point is that I never really knew what I wanted out of my life and it's important to remember that we don't always get what we want, we'll end up exactly where we are meant to be.

Of course all of us should pursue our dreams, set goals and be the best at whatever we do, but instead of working toward six figures a year consider finding peace of mind within yourself and meaning within your relationships.

What is success to me?  Being at the top.  Not by somebody lifting me up, but by climbing there myself.  And where is the top you ask?  I'll let you know when I get there. 

I am going to be an author.  My books will be New York Times best sellers (watch out Chelsea Handler).  All of my relationships will be meaningful and I won't take any day for granted.  I'll appreciate all that I obtain from hard work.  Most importantly, I'll have peace of mind; not from the money that I make or the car that I drive, but from achieving my personal definition of success.
 
What's yours?

Forget Where You Came From

They say learning from our mistakes, taking the bad with the good and finding where you belong in this world is all a part of growing up.  Thinking about the painful words and experiences that I have endured thus far in my life, I feel like I just had some sort of an epiphany.  I'm going to end up exactly where I am supposed to and it has nothing to do with where I came from.

Years may go by and we may become older however a majority of the people around us will never learn from their mistakes, never accept the bad for what it is and most importantly will never understand where they belong in this big world.  What does it mean to truly be comfortable in your own skin?  One of the most difficult yet most rewarding journeys any of us could take will be finding who we truly are and where we are meant to be.

A conversation with someone I met for the first time today doesn't have me feeling like I've "known him forever," but more like I know how he's felt forever.  Recognizing how you change as a person is so enlightening.

In high school I was so superficial; always worried what others thought of me.  There finally came a point in time where I realized that no matter how hard I tried to please everybody and be who they wanted me to be, they'd still think what they wanted. 

I'd be an extremely wealthy woman if I had a dollar for every time my name was written on the walls and stalls of the women's bathroom at Otter Valley Union High School; and if you couldn't guess it was never about how pretty I was or my witty sense of humor.  The ironic part is that after using all that energy to try to bring me down I live an amazing life in beautiful south Florida, and in a couple years those people will probably be doing nothing but scrubbing those very words off in their janitorial positions.

But back to the intriguing individual I met tonight.  He said, "I could walk the red carpet at the hottest clubs in New York City, Los Angeles or Miami and be treated like royalty, but when I go to a local bar in my hometown I get treated like shit." 

It's like my conscience jumped out of my mind and into this person so they could say what I have been thinking for so long.  People say "don't forget where you came from," but why wouldn't we want to?  I know that the opinions of others used to shape what I thought I needed to be, but really they only pushed me away to find out who I truly was. 

I know who I am and who I never want to become, but most importantly I know this is where I am meant to be and I owe none of it to "remembering where I came from."

Don't Spit Them Out, Swallow It!

The one thing I can rarely set aside is my pride. 

We all know admitting we are wrong is a difficult thing to do, but people seem to have more respect for us when we can.  Today I swallowed my pride to salvage a friendship.  Saying the three simple words, "you were right," took me far too long to get out of my mouth...but I'm so relieved I finally could. 

When we get into an argument with someone we never want to be the first to give in.  This past year I have learned that I would much rather swallow my pride, than have someone that I need in my life disappear from it.  Good friends are like money trees- extremely hard to come by.

I give the other person more credit than I can give myself.  The only thing harder to do than swallowing your own pride is to forgive someone.  Not just saying, "I forgive you," only to throw the argument back in their face months down the road- but truly letting it go.  Someone who honestly cares about you can always forgive for your mistakes and that's going to be the biggest test to any friendship.

I'm at a point in my life where I am recognizing the true colors of people a lot quicker than I used to; not only does this save me the time, but it's helping build my happiness that I get out of my relationships with others.

There are people that I may seem to be "close" with today and the next, but I know in my heart that they will have no part of my life in a year.  This is just because people move on. 

I appreciate every person from my past, can't wait to meet the rest in my future, and know the intentions of those in my life today.  It may take arguments, experiences, and a little pressure to test each friendship; but don't throw things out the window at the first negative.  That person could become any important staple to your future.

Your best friend today could be your most hated tomorrow and that's just a part of life.  So cherish someone when you can ultimately know and believe that they have honest intentions. 

It took me months without speaking to a person thinking that they were completely out of my life for me to realize that I wasn't going to let them disappear without saying what I needed to say.  Even if you think they don't want to hear it- take your chances.  I have my friend back and I owe it to swallowing my pride.

Nobody Likes Bad Weather

I love how we say, "Well things could be worse, right?"  And then I get fired...

We try to live with positive thinking in hopes that things are going to work out in our favor if we just constantly pursue and stay grinding to move forward, however there's always a time when we want to do nothing else but throw in the towel.  The feeling of being so exhausted you just want to drop everything and have no responsibility but to breathe.

We take four steps ahead only to get knocked six steps behind.  Feeling so bruised up from always being pushed back and kicked down, I can never actually throw the towel on the ground. 

At my worse times when I want to disappear and disregard all of the problems I face, there is some small flame that stays ignited deep within me and it just will not allow me to quit.  Even when I tell myself that this is just my luck and things aren't likely to get better at the moment, I know greatness is just ahead.  It may be two weeks down the road or two years down the road- but I can't stop because I am so anxious to get there. 

Friends use the same old lines over and over like "Don't worry you will be fine, you always are."  I always climb my way over the mountains that are set in front of me and in all honesty it's not the words of others that push me over and make me keep climbing- it's the little flame that will never go out. 

I come through the door with bloodshot eyes from crying the entire drive to Boca and my arms at my side only to see a good friend opening a bottle of wine already.  She says, "You know it's always a storm before the rainbow."

I laugh and say, "This isn't a storm, it's a damn hurricane."

The little flame won't let me sit inside and drink my wine until the rain passes, it's making me go outside and fight the weather. 

You can all sit inside if you choose but I'm running through the hurricane toward the rainbow- and once I get there it's never going to rain again.